Unlike traditional recovery programs Sonder does not believe that we are helpless to our challenges with substance use. We believe everyone’s journey is different and they define what works for them. We rebuke shame as an effective method in a recovery practice. We believe that recovery is not a straight line, and every restart provides an opportunity to practice kindness to ourselves and to apply what we’ve learned along the way. 

Sonder is a space to practice recovery in a safe, socially-just community of folx who identify as queer (including those questioning their gender and/or sexuality) or as a queer ally. Claiming space as queer-centered is a radical act of self and community care.

The strongest tool in any recovery toolbox is community. The ability to be authentic and vulnerable in a recovery space is critical. Traditional recovery spaces have created challenges for LGBTQ+ people regarding authenticity and vulnerability which has elevated the importance of a self defined community that is safe, essential in day to day life and even more important in recovery. We are here to provide peer-to-peer support. Peer-to-peer support puts individuals in charge of their own recovery, while also supporting each other. This is a peer-to-peer sober and soberish community for social engagement. ‘Peer-to-peer’ support spaces are different from ‘top-down’ approaches commonly found in traditional recovery spaces. We leverage the strength we have as recovering queer peers to provide support for each other in our goals to remain on a recovery path sober/soberish

“A person in recovery is often faced with the need to abandon friends and/or social networks that promote and help sustain a substance use disorder, but often has no alternatives to put in their place that support recovery. Peer recovery support service providers can help such peers make new friends and begin to build alternative social networks.”

In our community, all recovery paths are valid and welcome. We must each embark on our unique, holistic path in recovery. Our success is not determined by a day count, but by claiming agency over our individual process. While we wholeheartedly welcome folx from all walks of recovery, this space resists adhering to the rules of any specific recovery tradition or modality (e.g., AA, SMART Recovery, et al.). At the same time, we do not disparage others' journeys within those spaces. We are a shame-free, judgment-free space where curiosity, honesty, and integrity thrive. We trust our members (and everyone) to define their own recovery.